Shabbat Emor - 13 and counting (up)
NUMBERS
By Mary Cornish
I like the generosity of numbers.
The way, for example,
they are willing to count
anything or anyone:
two pickles, one door to the room,
eight dancers dressed as swans.
I like the domesticity of addition—
add two cups of milk and stir—
the sense of plenty: six plums
on the ground, three more
falling from the tree…
Even subtraction is never loss,
just addition somewhere else:
five sparrows take away two,
the two in someone else’s
garden now…
And I never fail to be surprised
by the gift of an odd remainder,
footloose at the end:
forty-seven divided by eleven equals four,
with three remaining.
Three boys beyond their mother’s call,
two Italians off to the sea,
one sock that isn't anywhere you look[1].
We love to count in Judaism, whether it is trying to figure out our forever changing calendar (when is Rosh Hashanah this year? Does Chanukah fall during Christmas or is it earlier? And what about Pesach - in the Easter break or not?), or trying to calculate someone's Hebrew birthday so that we know when it is their bar/bat mitzvah, or the numerological system of gematria which assigns each Hebrew letter to a number in order to find the mystical secrets of the Torah. Or there’s the actual counting of the omer, which began on Pesach, a festival celebrating freedom and the barley harvest, and will end on the night before Shavuot, celebrating revelation and the wheat harvest, helping us decide when Shavuot is (49th day is Sunday 1st June), but today it is the 34 day of the omer and tonight we will count the 35th.
What is noticeable is that in Jewish tradition we prefer to count up rather than down. So the omer count is from 1-49, we light one candle on the first night of Chanukah, culminating in 8 candles, at the seder we sing raucous and loudly Echad Mi Yodeah, who knows one, who knows two etc etc until we reach 13.
Rabbi Larry Hoffman, an inspiring American rabbi, scholar and teacher points out our penchant for counting up. He writes;
“Counting up or down matters. “Down” has a necessary ending: zero. Utter finality. “Up” ends arbitrarily at any number we want, but wherever we stop counting, there are more numbers waiting in the wings. “Down” delivers an absolute end, a vacuum of nothingness…”
Counting down to zero ends in ‘nothing’. Some traditions see the number zero as a state of infinite possibilities, simultaneously representing nothingness and the potential for everything, including in the Jewish mystical concept of ‘ayin’, relating to God's infiniteness and being without end. And yet, when it comes to Jewish traditions, we count up. We start in possibility and we move towards something in reality.
A famous/interesting counting list is the list of what we should do by what age by Judah Ben Teimah, which we find in the wisdom of Pirkei Avot.
“…five years old is the age to begin studying Scripture [Torah], 10 for Mishna (laws), 13 for the obligation of the commandments (bar/bat mitzvah)…, 18 for marriage, 20 for seeking a livelihood…, 50 for giving counsel…, 90 for a bent back…, at 100, one is as if he/they were dead and gone from the world.” (Pirkei Avot 5.21/23/24).
We were officially registered as a community in 2011, meaning that we had the ability to do all life cycle rituals, from birth to death and everything in between. The years from 2008-2011 were the gestational period, (almost as long as the pregnancy of a basking shark). The Chavurah was created by a small group of likeminded families and households, looking for Jewish life in their area, a Judaism that reflected their values of equality, respect, and modern thinking combined with ancient rituals. And so the earliest stirrings of the Chavurah began around dinner tables, in playgrounds, and in conversation all around Crouch End, culminating in 2011 with becoming part of liberal Judaism, and a fully fledged community.
Now Judah ben Teimah said that at five years old the child is ready to learn foundational stories, and we too began with children learning on Monday afternoons in Clive and Marie’s house. Our toddler years saw us grow from a small group of families, to a community led by a committee and headed up by Clive as our first chair. In those years we also found our voice and love of singing, with Karen and our singers learning the many melodies and prayers for the services, and establishing our own traditions and ways of doing things. We did the first baby blessings in 2011, Elias (my son) was one of them, as well as the first Bnei Mitzvah.
After five years Joel became chair, the community grew, our internal structures, events and programmes were in place. From two groups of children of all ages, ‘Chaverim’ our learning groups for all children grew into sessions for every age group, as well as Young Shabbat for the under 6, and the baby group was established. We had regular Friday nights and Saturday mornings, High Holy day services and the main festivals for everyone, we had weddings and mixed faith blessings, lots of bnei mitzvahs, our classic Picnic shabbat in the field, and many more events.
And then we began to look outwards, reaching out to other communities around us, getting to know the Haringey Multi Faith Forum who we have representatives from today. It's wonderful to have you here with us, including the police who keeps us safe, and who are an important part of the forum. And then COVID hit, and everything we did had to change, as we went into several lockdowns. But the Chavurah came together, we discovered how to do services online, to celebrate major festivals together, to do services outside, members driving around dropping off cheese for Shavuot, biscuits for Chanukah, mishloach manot for Purim, matzah for Pesach. And it was in the Multi Faith forum that we found ways to support each other, to try and figure out what the legislation meant, and we learnt from and supported each other through those very difficult days.
At ten years for the Mishnah - understanding the laws and what they mean.
And so in our 10th year Miriam became chair. We were in the aftermath of COVID, the cost of living crisis, the world around us was in turmoil and then 7th Oct happened. And that only covers approx 3 years!
This period has been signified by keeping the community together and finding our inner strength. The principle that guides us is shalom bait - keeping peace and wholeness within the community. As we have matured we have also faced much more complex issues around learning how to deal with differences and conflicting views, while at the same time having so much in common. As the world around us has turned into ever simpler narratives of for and against, we as a community hold onto the principle that it is possible to hear several narratives at once, that the world is more complex and does not conform to black and white stereotypes. This is not easy, it is an ongoing conversation, but I am proud that we as a community begins with listening and with respect, and the acknowledgement that the other person might also be right. May this last.
It is also fitting that in the lead up to our 13th birthday the proposal to merge the two progressive movements in this country, liberal and reform, happened. The final vote by each movement happens tomorrow, but we as a community voted in favour of a merger, by 88%.
And now we are at thirteen for the commandments which means taking on responsibility for our own spiritual life and practice and not just learning about them.
So where are we at? And where are we going?
We have had over the years -
21 baby blessings
11 Weddings or mixed faith ceremonies
8 shivas (for both members and non-members parents)
Only 1 funeral and another one next week - may this last long
And how many BMs? How many young people have stood in front of the community, learning about their tradition and raised their voices?
Hazard a guess? 80!
At a bar/bat mitzvah we talk about the young person beginning to take responsibility for their Jewish life, for their brit/covenant/partnership with God, with the community and with the larger Jewish world around them. But what does that mean in a community setting? As a Chavurah? What does that entail for each one of us? What does it mean for/to you?
When I was trying to sum up who we are and who we have grown into, the words that came to mind were ‘creative’, ‘caring’ and a bit ‘daring’. Though I don't think we are that radical compared to others, our ‘DNA’ is about experimenting, exploring, learning about our traditions and celebrating them together in ways that reflect our membership, and not because ‘that is how it has always been done’. And that is a beautiful heritage and a gift for us. We change how we do things as the community changes, and the needs of the community changes. And so one example of this is in the autumn, we will be exploring what Shabbat means to us, how we can celebrate Shabbat in different ways that makes it meaningful and relevant to us, (there might even be a kiddush wine tasting Shabbat on the cards).
Another thing we ask our young people to do is to read a prayer at the very end of the Torah service about covenant as it's about connection, responsibility, and partnership. And it was not a mistake that this time I asked an adult to read it. For it asks all of us, not just our young people - what connection do I want? How can I be a partner in the covenant of the community? What can I do to help the community? In the next few months we will be sending out the Skills Audit which is a good way to help us know what skills or interests you have, it helps you clarify what and how you can help, and it is a great way for everyone to be able to contribute with their skills.
And so we keep on counting up not down, and our next milestone on Judah ben Temah’s list is fifteen for the Talmud.
The enormously complicated work of discussion, stories, law, counterpoints, and minority and majority voices that makes up the fascinating and nuanced tapestry of Jewish traditions. One of the enduring points of the Talmud is that through questioning it teaches that the world is not black and white, and that discussion and conversation are at the core of our traditions, and the core of our community.
And so we count up, we look forward to seeing how this community grows, matures, and changes. Whether that's looking forwards to life pursuits at 20, discernment at 40, grey hair at 70 or special strength at 80. Or as we usually say - bis 120. May this community grow in strength and commitment as Moses did.